The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
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If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
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Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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