btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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