When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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