Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
