Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
