# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
