Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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