Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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