im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
