How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The adults are the big ones right?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
