And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize