i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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