So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
