dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
