Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize