nutella sex= disaster
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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