I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He passed out mid-signature
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
whose parrot is this?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
