Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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