Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize