No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
