So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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