worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
