My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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