I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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