Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home

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(613): View more from Ontario

the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek

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(210): View more from Texas

drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend

(1-210): View more from Texas

I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.

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(707): View more from California

Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick

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(661): View more from California

im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom

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(760): View more from California

I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."

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