I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
