he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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