i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
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I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
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As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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