What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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