hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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