We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
