Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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