how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
