He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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