If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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