Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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