my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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