I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
