im having a threesome with these popsicles
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
