I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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