I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my sisters under your porch take her home
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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