She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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