I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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