is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
