I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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