omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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