I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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