i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
my liver is dry heaving
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
