Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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