We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
