Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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