1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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