Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
