Me. At least after what I've been through.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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