I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
