Buhtt sex?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize