she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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