I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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