great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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